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I've been unhappy at church for about two, two and a half months, and today I just broke down at coffee hour.
I've been going to church most weeks, but skipping out on the actual service, going to sit in the teen lounge or something, and then just going to my meeting afterward. And I've been going to church frequently for meetings during the week. And I thought that the problem was that this place that should be a source of renewal was turning into job #2, so I resolved to actually attend services and try to grab that sense of community and love back.
( And then I flipped out, and I'm not sure I won't flip out tomorrow. )
But this makes me think that the reason church is making me unhappy is not just because of the unhappy things happening, but also because I am doing so much "people time" there that I am into negative cope. I mean that I am an introvert, people are hard, and the church is pushing me beyond my ability to deal with people. This almost makes me think I should see about getting some counseling, but the idea of adding one more person to talk to is literally enough to make me start crying right now, which seems counterproductive.
Also, I need to look for a job, which, hopefully, would end up with me doing interviews, so as to get hired somewhere else. But I don't have to look for a job right away, and I'm just going to have to push it off some more, I think.
I've been going to church most weeks, but skipping out on the actual service, going to sit in the teen lounge or something, and then just going to my meeting afterward. And I've been going to church frequently for meetings during the week. And I thought that the problem was that this place that should be a source of renewal was turning into job #2, so I resolved to actually attend services and try to grab that sense of community and love back.
( And then I flipped out, and I'm not sure I won't flip out tomorrow. )
But this makes me think that the reason church is making me unhappy is not just because of the unhappy things happening, but also because I am doing so much "people time" there that I am into negative cope. I mean that I am an introvert, people are hard, and the church is pushing me beyond my ability to deal with people. This almost makes me think I should see about getting some counseling, but the idea of adding one more person to talk to is literally enough to make me start crying right now, which seems counterproductive.
Also, I need to look for a job, which, hopefully, would end up with me doing interviews, so as to get hired somewhere else. But I don't have to look for a job right away, and I'm just going to have to push it off some more, I think.
