zvi likes tv

pearl_o posted about being out of step with slashfandom because she didn't really see some of the big slashpairings. And mecurtin asked her why she didn't see John/Rodney and pearl-o answered.

I, too, do not see John/Rodney, but I knew pearl-o's answer was partially mine (I've got to believe they like each other) and partially not mine (I'm not so hung up on the slash pairing being the most central of their lives, in canon.)

Yesterday, I also read musesfool's Mal/Zoe story Another Gravity, which is excellent and I like it and you should go read it (and I would have sent feedback immediately after reading, victoria, but I had printed it out) and it totally felt like slash as I read it.

And, to help me out some more (because the universe is arranged for my benefit), Sarah T posted about John/Teyla that makes her want to spork herself (hyperbole mine) and fairestcat posted about narrative kinks.

This all came together in my head this morning as I was trying very hard to go back to sleep in a room with blinds but not curtains. And here it is:

I have different qualities that I look for in boyslash pairings and in het pairings. And, if a pairing that involves a man and a woman works along the lines of what I look for in slash pairings, I will like it but I will think of it as slash. So, you wanna hear it? Here it go!

In boyslash pairings, I need a couple who have a personal relationship between the two of them, who see each other specifically and individually. This is the first reason that John and Rodney don't work for me, because I feel that if Zelenka or Bates had gone to Athos instead, that Sheppard or McKay wouldn't know the difference. McKay has a space in his life where he needs a competent small raiding party leader, and Sheppard has a place in his life where he needs a fabulously intelligent xenoengineer, but I truly don't get the sense that they like each other as particular people. If, for instance, they weren't on team SGA Prime, but they ran into each other in the cafeteria or had to work together to understand Ancient technology in a perfectly safe lab setting, or ran into each other at Mensa meetings, they wouldn't have become friends anyway, I don't think.

I also need a couple who are fighting the same fight, not just the same war. I even need this in my enemyslash. (I like Harry/Snape, for instance, but only if Snape is teaching Harry to fight Voldemort or doing something mystical to endow him with the power to do it, or if they've already defeated Voldemort before the story starts.) This is the second reason John/Rodney doesn't work for me. They are both obviously fighting the Wraith, but John is hitting them with great balls of fire or really fast rocks, while Rodney is trying to outthink them. Sometimes John puts a rock in Rodney's hand, or Rodney makes John complete an Ancient circuit, but their approaches are different and not really collaborative.

Examples: McKay/Zelenka, Sheppard/Dex, Wes/Gunn, Mulder/Skinner, Bashir/O'Brien (the same fight they are fighting is against holodeck storylines, and also not to get in trouble with Keiko or the Captain, not against the Dominion.), Legolas/Gimli. Mal/Zoe, which, yes, man and a woman, but I don't care; they are just like a slash pairing to me.

Now, in a het couple, I want the man to worship the woman, the woman to find the man adorable, and I want them both to be worthy of such devotions. And I want them to be one of those couples where they have a clear unit identity in my mind, as well as being individual people. This is why Wash and Zoe work really well for me, but Mulder and Scully don't. Mulder doesn't worship Scully and Scully finds Mulder more infuriating than adorable. They do have the unitary quality, but they don't like each other in quite the right way. On the other hand, Spike and Buffy do work pretty well, because a) two out of three ain't bad and b) insane chemistry can make up for a lot. Spike worships her, they have a way of working like a well-oiled machine that I can really dig, they're so hot for each other that they literally tore down a house. The fact that Buffy only likes him when she's not hating herself and she thinks she can trust him, two things that almost never happen simultaneously, I can sort of smooth over in my head.

Examples: Wash/Zoe, Zelenka/Weir, Dennis/Izzy, Adama (either)/Roslin, Beast/Beauty (any except Fables), Helo/Boomer, Miles/Keiko.

( extracredit materials cut to avoid tl;dr territory )

What I didn't figure out was what I like in femslash. My initial answer is that it should be the same as boyslash except with more chemistry because it has to overcome a higher "we're just friends" barrier (I believe women but not men can be friends like girls, so any m/m relationship which involves personal talking reads as gay, whereas a f/f relationship which involves personal talking just reads as friendship.) But then I think about the femslash that pings for me—Xena/Gabrielle, Kaylee/Inara, Buffy/Faith, Chiana/Jool, Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Janeway/7, Janeway/Torres—and that doesn't—Buffy/Willow, Willow/Tara (I believe that Willow and Tara are gay together, I just have a complete lack of caring), Janeway/Kes, Alex/Olivia—and I think there must be some other quality I'm looking for.